Ladybug, ladybug...

So yesterday was a rough day at work for me, including but not limited to my dogs attacking my front door for what seemed like 3 hours mid-day (I get a lot of deliveries and I KNOW the UPS dude rarely naps on my porch, so I didn’t unplug to go down and check it out.)

After work, as I descended the stairs, I did indeed see a small box waiting inside my front porch. Oh joy, I thought, another coffee mug for someone who can’t drink caffeine. Upon opening it, however, I was very touched to discover a lovely card and a never-before-seen solar-powered dancing ladybug from a sweet co-worker in northern WI!

It was growing dark so I set it on the kitchen window sill and studied it more closely (I don’t have much of a social life). For the record, the wings do not open. Seriously—don’t try and force them.

This morning, I made sure to take ladybug upstairs to work with me. I set her on the sill and she immediately started dancing.

Cue Maggie, my Cujo-related Chihuahua. She hopped up to check it out, quickly jumped down, and I haven’t seen her since. I then moved ladybug to a location where I could take a picture and noticed that Ginger had mistaken ladybug for a GODDESS and was prostrate before her. THIS, I though, could be useful. I asked Ginger what she thought and she immediately hushed me, saying, “No talking in front of the ThunderBug!”

I think we have a winner. Thank you VERY MUCH, Ellice! Screw Thundershirts—ThunderBugs for the WIN!

Get your own Thunderbug-this one is MINE!

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Hi Sally!

Welcome to my twisted world!

Below Sea Level is the dark novel.
The Agoraphobic's Guide to Cairo is the light novel.

And Myles Kennedy is the one that makes me fly all over the country--and world, now. ;) Yes you, Sally. Thought it would make you laugh. Read more!

You'll wear out this new webisode from Alter Bridge. Out-takes, their specialty!!

Rockol - AlterBridge, la special edition di III e il tour on MUZU.TV

"For the 49th fucking time..." Scott "Flip" Phillips kills it in this video. Read more!

Why I love Huskies but will never own one

Do not attempt to drink any beverages as you watch this or you risk a very messy snort. The subtitles are priceless. Mishka (the black one) even has her own YouTube channel! The brown one is her sister, Laika.

What about now?
No. Read more!

Jimmy Dietrich - The Early Years

Well it's about damn time I stopped making videos of unobtainable rock stars long enough to make one of my all-time favorite rock star, my dad, Jim Dietrich. This montage attempts to show the origins of Jim's true creative genius, and I only hope it can shed some light on what makes this man rock and roll!

Jimmy Dietrich from Nancy Dietrich on Vimeo.

Screw YouTube--Long live Vimeo!! Read more!

Myles Smiles

Myles Smiles

A celebration of Myles Kennedy and the smiles he shares with his innumerable fans, dedicated to one of Alter Bridge's greatest fans and promoters, Erin Freriks, who left us unexpectedly at age 30 on January 10, 2011. Set to "Life Must Go On" from Alter Bridge's album AB III.

Erin would have been 31 today.


Enjoy! Read more!

Enough!!

"You're" = You are

"You are" = you're

"your" is ONLY for use as a POSSESSIVE, as in "your dog, your car, your spelling that is indicating the complete demise of modern civilization." I REALLY need a vacation. What's YOUR excuse? Because YOU'RE in serious denial about YOUR spelling skills.

You can take me away now, Officer. (Can we ride in your car? Because you're hot!)



I'll be back Wednesday. You have 4 days to learn this. Read more!

Favorite Sign from Rally For Sanity

Don't worry, it really does say that.

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Jack Black and Little Girl compete for Oscar

The beans are coming! Read more!

Now THIS is bareback riding!

This video was recorded during a Show Jumping in Bourg-en-Bresse, France. The show was supposed to be costume but rider Dominique H. Ribot did not have one. He thus informed the jury, who told him (as a joke) that he should compete naked. Which he ultimately did... Quite impressive, enjoy!

Excellent, um, form! Read more!

Petition to Meet Myles and Slash for Picture and Hug

[Okay, I am a well-respected writer with published stories under my belt and I am using my blog again to stalk my favorite musicians. The respected writer promises to return after approx five days. I appreciate your patience.]

Nancy and Sarah at the Dec 2007 Alter Bridge/Another Animal tour in Love's Park, IL, where it was fucking COLD AS HELL outside. Just sayin'. And bats inside. Crazy shit all 'round.

Dear Myles,

I tried to do this under cover of MySpace, but you are "away" and it would not post. You probably heard me swear all the way over at the Belly Up tonight when it wouldn't go through. I'll be damned if I'll subject you or Slash to a full letter using Twitter-length posts, so the blog it is--my own personal billboard. [It does come in handy, sometimes.]

I am the grateful fan who made the "Starlight" Gulf Oil Spill Video that you and Slash helped spread word about back in June. I'm also the one who bullied you into tweeting Happy Birthday to my sister Sarah, Your #1 Fan, back in June. (Thanks again, you made her cry happy tears :) You were kind enough to do the same for me. I'm too tough for tears, though. Just how I'm made. (Chris Cornell may deny this, but he's lying! I had something in my eye at that concert!!)

As you know by my non-stop tweets, my sister and I will be at your Milwaukee show on Sunday. We will be parked in lawn chairs at the front doors of the Pabst Theatre by late morning--easily making it in time for soundcheck. Soundcheck doors are same side as where your bus parks and just down the street from the front doors. [I can't believe I'm telling everyone who follows you this, but I'm just that pathetic--and couldn't DM you.] I mention that because we would BOTH love to see you again, and meet Slash, if possible. Though we were both lucky (not lucky--helped by Godsmack's Robbie Merrill, let's be honest) to meet you in the dead of winter in 2007 in Love's Park, IL, neither of us has met Slash before. We would both love to meet this Living Legend. [Of course we're kissing up--isn't that the whole point?!]

For the record, the picture I took with you in in 2007 makes me look like a drooling idiot (I may be an idiot, but I don't normally drool) and I think any fan would deserve a second chance at a normal picture. You guys have to race to Clear Lake, IA, right after that show and I don't know if you'll be sticking around long enough to stalk, I mean meet, for a picture. (Who booked this leg of the tour? Chicago is geographically in BETWEEN Milwaukee and Clear Lake--that was horrible planning!)

Bad stalking jokes aside, you know I am a huge fan of yours, whomever you are singing for. I'd love for you to tour singing the blues every day the rest of your life and so would my stressed-out sister, who relies on me to know what you are tweeting and where you are playing every night, since her 4 year-old daughter (the one conceived on the night of your concert in Beloit in 2005--I know, TMI) has turned evil and dominates her every thought and action. She's quite fried, I can assure you. And since they'll be serving drinks at the Pabst, she'll be quite fried by the time you come on stage, as well, so meeting her before the show would be recommended, in all honesty. [She'd KILL me for that one if she ever had time to read my blog...]

You would be doing BOTH of us a great honor if you stepped outside after soundcheck--or before--whenever--and let us shake your hand again and get a decent picture. It would be fantastic if you brought the Guy with the Hat. I will continue to be your loudest proselytizer--Have you noticed all the Cornell fans I've introduced to (both of) you and this album in particular? They know great pipes when they hear 'em!! And I always give you a great--and honest--write-up on my blog after each show. It's been too long since you graced these "pages"!!

Most sincerely,

Nancy Dietrich, Your #2 Fan
Sarah Murray, Your #1 Fan

Can you really blame me for wanting a re-shoot? Seriously...

I even managed to screw up Sarah's picture with you due to technical difficulties.


This would be a lot more degrading if I outright begged or posted full frontal shots of my sister (Truth?--couldn't find any in time. KIDDING!) That, at least, is how I'm justifying feeling better about this.

Or I could post an inappropriate pic of Slash from 20 years ago during the Guns N' Roses/Soundgarden Tour.

Oh, shit. Cornell, inflatable doll, and Slash. DM me, Slash, and I'll take it down, LOL. But you're lookin' good!

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Non-Tweeters Missing Out...

Gary Busey just posted the following tweet:

@GaryJBusey Has anyone seen @ParisHilton? She was supposed to be holding my purse for me.

Now THAT'S fucking funny. Read more!

Stewart: FOX Failed To Mention Co-Owner Is One They Accuse Of 'Terror Funding' (VIDEO)

This reviewer says: Fucking A Brilliant

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Parent Company Trap
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

I'm with Evil. No, Stupid. Oh shit, can't they be both? Read more!

The Cat and the Crow

If you can get past the narration of Alan Thicke and a few schmaltzy re-enactments, this is truly something to crow about!

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. And don't worry, "SkinFlix" isn't what is sounds like. I, um, checked. Read more!

Don't Laugh

Pygmy Jerboa after the leap...

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My Life -- A Short Film

Have a cracker and everything will be okay. Read more!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

Announcing the Grand Opening of

NANCY'S LAWN CHAIR EMPORIUM!!!



After driving thru town tonight to see what was happenin' before the annual parade tomorrow, I saw 100's of new and slightly-used lawn chairs of ALL TYPES AND SIZES lining the parade route. As soon as everyone's asleep tonight, I'll be making a pass (or a few) with my Beetle and the SALE STARTS TOMORROW B4 THE PARADE!!

I will also have a FULL collection of blankets available for you to stay warm this winter!!

DOORS OPEN AT 9 A.M.!!! DON'T MISS OUT!!!

Come early--the best ones will go FAST!

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I know I need a laugh...

Since I brought down at least 1360 people who viewed my video montage of the Gulf disaster, I've been hard at work trying to mop up all the tears.

Dave Grohl, former drummer for Nirvana, lead singer for the Foo Fighters, and current drummer for Them Crooked Vultures, recently completed a side project for Slash. He played drums on a track called "Watch This." I hesitate to call it an instrumental because Slash's guitar sings throughout, but there are no vocals. (On the CD you do hear Dave say "Watch this!" at the very beginning.)

There are a few cameos in the video since Dave horses around with everyone he meets, so see how many you can identify. If you miss Slash, you just haven't been paying attention lately.



Go watch it again. I know you missed a few. Read more!

IRS Aims for Revenge Against Texans

In a highly unusual move, the IRS has stated it is so upset about the recent attack on its offices in Austin, Texas that it will be raising income tax rates for ALL Texans starting with the upcoming tax year.

An IRS representative who wished to remain anonymous stated, "We would love to start this immediately but we have a lot of our own red tape to cut through to make this happen. But rest assured, it WILL happen!"

There are also widely circulating rumors that extra taxes may be levied on bands that play exclusively country music. The same rep tried to correct this by saying that the IRS has long wished to tax country stars higher than those that play "normal" music--the so-called "Twang-Tax"--but that that, too was caught up in red tape.

[Ed. note: I've been telling people for years it's time to start profiling Texans as potential terrorists, but no one would listen. Maybe now, they will.] Read more!

Southwest Airlines Dismayed to Discover Silent Bob Isn't

Smith's Tweeted Pic

Director Kevin Smith was not amused--or silent--after being ejected from a recent Southwest Airlines flight for being overweight. Smith had already been seated "with both armrests down" he said, in defense of his portliness, when the pilot himself declared him a "safety risk" due to his size and ordered him off the plane.

Smith resorted to the most violent form of protest currently known: Twitter.

"I know I'm fat," the 39-year-old wrote via Twitter. "But was Captain Leysath [sic] really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?"

His Twitter continued to heat up as he was offered a $100 voucher and a seat on another flight. "Articles say I was given $100 @SouthwestAir voucher. It was OFFERED: the way a john tosses a hooker a c-note after a hate-fucking. Said no."
(14 February 2010, 2:55 PM, PST)

Earlier, Kevin tweeted a message that may have revealed the true reason for his ejection:

"I'm way fat," Smith tweeted, "But I'm not THERE just yet. But if I am, why wait til my bag is up, and I'm seated WITH ARM RESTS DOWN. In front of a packed plane with a bunch of folks who'd already I.d.ed me as 'Silent Bob'."


Smith filling up recently

Apparently, the pilot had mistaken Kevin Smith, director of such indie hits as Clerks and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, as Peter Jackson, Director of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. When the pilot realized the best film Smith had ever created was Dogma, he grew livid and refused to fly the plane. In a final act of desperation, the flight attendants escorted the Jackson look-alike off the plane.


Peter Jackson accepting one of a gazillion awards a few years back

When you look at it this way, can you really blame him?

Sadly, If the captain had been following pop culture more closely, he would have known that Jackson had actually lost a ton of weight this last year, and no longer resembled Smith at all, possibly averting this whole debacle. Follow read more to see Peter Jackson's recent transformation.




Jackson before

Jackson after
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