Closer to fine

Came out in 2004

What can you say about a hit-play-turned-movie that contains nothing but three lying philanderers and one annoying stripper?

You can say that Clive Owen is in it. And unfortunately, he does not play the stripper. (No offense, Natalie. You have a fine ass.)

Just the way Clive leers at her in this film he is clearly breaking some laws.

Later, Clive trys to convince Julia to do one more sinful act before signing her divorce papers.


Watch his expression change after she agrees...



Rounding out the cast are Julia Roberts playing a bad girl (nice to see her as something other saint or hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold) and Jude Law, apparently playing himself.



Clive's acting is spot-on throughout this piece, and he is thoroughly disarming as an egotistic, misogynist, foul-mouthed sex addict. Cleans up nice as a swanky dermatologist, but I'd rather the wardrobe department had saved some money on this film and just let him wear boxers--at most.

He is at his most charming when he is exchanging messages in an online chat room and when asked if he is "hung" types quickly 9L instead of 9". (I don't have a British Pound symbol--use your imagination.) This is one major flaw in the story as it is always better to "show" than to "tell." Again, it is Natalie who must do all the "showing" in this one.

How long am I going to keep up this Clive Owen obsession, you may be wondering? Well, some people are here to save the world. I have finally decided it is my job to savor it. And what better way than to start with all the known works of Mr. Clive Owen.

Clive's sensitive side

Quickly reverts to Clive's very-fucking-pissed-off side when he realizes he's been out-cheated by Julia.

Clive walked away with a Golden Globe, a BAFTA, and a very detailed memory of Natalie Portman's private parts. No wonder they look so uncomfortable in this picture.

He was much more excited as he threw me a bone in the audience during his acceptance speech.