The Luckiest Slovenian

I've already e-mailed this photographer, Ross Halfin, to see if he'll be in Chicago next week. I hope to God he is. He is the best there is.

Mind Riot

I was slipping through the cracks of a stolen jewel
I was tightrope walking in two ton shoes
Now somebody is talking about a third world war
And the police said this was normal control
And the candle was burning yesterday
Like somebody's best friend died
And I've been caught in a mind riot
I was crying from my eye teeth and bleeding from my soul
And I sharpened my wits on a dead man's skull
I built an elevator from his bones
Had to climb to the top floor just to stamp out the coals
And the candle was burning yesterday
Like somebody's best friend died
And I've been caught in a mind riot
I'm tied within
I'm luck's last match struck
In the pouring down wind

****************************


Cornell at the Showbox with SG, April 16, 2010

Something funny happened on the way to work Friday. You could say it was a 72 hour commute, because that's how long it took to get there. Tuesday, July 27 was the day that Soundgarden World (SG's official website) announced that SG would be playing an intimate show at The Vic in Chicago on the Thursday preceding their Lollapalooza appearance on August 8, effectively turning the world of every SG/Chris Cornell fan upside-down. Nearly every Slovenian within hearing range was challenged to register for this private show, and I'm fairly certain each and every one of them did. (See previous post for excruciating details.)


Ginger Ale, whom, by the way, Slash finds adorable ;)

As Friday morning approached in 2-3 hour increments (my pit bull got diarrhea--even she couldn't handle the pressure) my anxiety climbed higher and higher. I had some serious sleep meds on board, and while they did make it a little hard to navigate my tall and narrow stairs with a 75 lb dog trying to get out the front door in time, they certainly weren't keeping me asleep. All I could think about was 10 a.m.

I could have clocked in around 3 a.m., but I waited until my usual Friday time of 9 a.m. I had windows open all over my computer by then: Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, and Soundgarden World forums. Every fan with a working outlet was plugged into this event.

And so we waited. I must have gotten a dozen messages spread over all the media forms asking "Did you hear yet?" as if the first thing I wouldn't do was post it in every fucking place I could find.

We didn't hear until after 11 a.m., if I remember clearly (and I don't). Someone on SGW posted that they had just won. I immediately refreshed my e-mail and found myself looking at a message from SGW:

Dear Soundgarden Winner,

Yesssss!!! You have successfully won the drawing for a chance to purchase a pair of tickets to Soundgarden's show at the Vic Theatre on Thursday, August 5th. Please read and follow the steps below to make your ticket purchase: fine print, blah, blah, blur...

FUCK.

Checked FB to see if any friends had won. Quiet.
Checked Twitter to see if any friends had won. Quiet.
Checked SGW again--still just one, someone I didn't know.

How long was I supposed to wait to announce what might not be happening for my friends?

Then one of them saw the SGW winner and asked if ANYONE had heard anything, positive or negative. I was in shock--what if this was a mistake? Why was I the only one getting good (or any) news? I began to dread coming clean.

After a solid 5 minutes of reading and re-reading my message, I was pretty convinced it was indeed the Golden Ticket in the last Wonka Bar. I had to say it. So I said it--I even all-capped it. If you're going to win, win big.

Facebook: I FUCKING WON!!!
Twitter: I FUCKING WON!!!
E-mail: I FUCKING WON!!!

And the posts, tweets and e-mails starting pouring in. Needless to say, right about this time was when work started getting busy, so I was juggling insane joy, pressing guilt and a full on Mind Riot as I struggled to take orders without my voice breaking, or without shouting to whomever was on the other end: I FUCKING WON!!!

The e-mails brought it home. Two or three more winners popped up in the SGW forum, but no one in our circle. I began to feel sick. I faked my way through one more call and turned the ringer off. I let the tears flow--happy mixed with sad, denial mixed with acceptance. I was the one. I was the only one. It wasn't supposed to happen that way.

I rushed to Twitter and started abusing my privileges with Cornell and Toni, his mother-in-law. There must be a mistake, I typed, Laurie and Steph didn't get a message. What happened? I asked. Don't you know them as well as your own crew? How could this happen? And finally, I remembered to thank them.

I went back to SGW and there was the death knell:

All of the winners have been notified. Thank you to everyone for entering.

I posted this, and felt a quiet fall over Cyberspace. I felt everyone fall away until I was standing in a cloud of black with nothing all around me. I felt completely alone. A party of one is no party at all. If it wasn't for my sister texting me her exuberance, I felt more like I had just been kicked off the island than voted in. Solemnly, shaking, I clicked on the magic link, entered my password, and purchased two tickets for $100--for a million dollar show.

Thankfully, work ends early for me Fridays, and I had an excuse to get out of my office, away from the computer and all the disappointment I was reading in the silence there.

I am still adjusting to this new role as The Vic Spokesperson for our large group. I was instructed to videotape, photograph and write down EVERYTHING. I started to get a little worried. I can't even remember setlists once I'm leaving a venue. With good luck came tremendous responsibility--to transmit everyone's joy at the SG reunion, and to remember every single detail to share it with them afterwards.

Today I took steps to make sure I don't let them down. I found another winner, a videographer based in LA, and sent an e-mail asking if he'd be handling that part. I e-mailed famous rock photographer Ross Halfin to see if he would be there--as he had been at so many pivotal shows for them and for other enormous bands. I bought a small black notebook to write down songs and comments as they happened during the show, and immediately pictured myself dropping the damn thing just out of reach over the rail, unable to regain it until it the show was over and my brain was fried. I can picture myself now with a string tied to my shorts so I don't lose my notebook. Whatever works. I am willing to do whatever it takes to bring what I experience inside the walls of the Vic outside to my waiting friends. And I'm so thankful they'll still be waiting for me.

We have a fantastic Sunday ahead of us!!


Kim Thayil and Chris Cornell at the Showbox April 16 in Seattle

I am one lucky Slovenian.