4 of the Most Logical Solutions to the Mosque at Ground Zero Issue

4 of the Most Logical Solutions to the Mosque at Ground Zero Issue by Erin Gibson at the Huffington Post

This whole "mosque at ground zero" thing got me thinking about how we could build a mosque that wouldn't make its opponents so angry. So, I made a list of how we can, as Tim Gunn says, "make it work".

#1 - Build the mosque, but surround the mosque with puppies.
You see American's, heck humans, love puppies, and once they see those cute little furry dog babies, they'll forget all about the religion going on inside that building. Next thing you know, Americans and Muslims will just be standing around the mosque, giving those puppies cute names like Max, Rockie or Bushra. And they'll all be happy, all the time. Because when the puppies get too old, they'll replace them with new puppies!!**

#2 - Ice cream!!!
Not just an ice cream truck, we'll install an ice cream slide that carries ice cream from the minaret straight into people's mouths. Think about how happy you are after eating ice cream! So happy! I had multiple servings of mint chocolate chip ice cream after my grandma died of cancer and instantly I was almost back to normal. It's a magical, milky cure all for the blues, and I think it could really help solve this problem. We'd have to figure out a good rotation of flavors. I'm not dumb enough to think that everyone's favorite flavor is vanilla, so I think putting in a nice rotation of chocolate, strawberry and pecan should satisfy everyone.

#3 - An invisible mosque.
You remember Wonder Woman? That lady had an invisible plane, so why not take that cartoon technology and apply it to an actual building in real life? I don't see any reason why not, especially since it's a particularly good idea.

#4 - Take everyone who doesn't like the mosque idea, put them in a spaceship (I'm looking at you, Richard Branson) and take them to another planet.
Then, the people who want the mosque will live on Earth. Those people who are against it can start their own civilization (we'll help them, of course - we're not monsters who would just maroon people on another planet). I mean, how fun would that be? To start your own planet? Really fun! But I won't be going, because I like the mosque idea. Which means I'll me missing out on a free trip to space, which sounds like a nice time.

You know , writing these out and posting this first draft without proofreading it has shown me that if you just spend a few minutes, you can open your mind and maybe, just maybe you'll solve some of the world's biggest problems. Like I did today.

Keep ona thinkin'!

** I haven't figured out what will happen to the old puppies. Hopefully, they'd be adopted, but logically, I know there are not enough people to adopt all the puppies it's gonna take to surround the mosque with cuteness. This plan may actually call for a lot of dogs to be euthanized.


Mosques don't kill puppies, people kill puppies. Read more!

My Whole Street Is a Mosque

My Whole Street Is a Mosque by Mira Schor of the Huffington Post

I live on Lispenard Street just south of Canal Street in Lower Manhattan, 14 blocks north of Ground Zero. My daily life on this street and this neighborhood gives me an insight into aspects of Muslim worship in Lower Manhattan people outside of New York City may not be aware of.

From my corner I saw with my own eyes the second plane hit the South Tower. I lived downtown through the scary nights and the many rough months after September 11, and I am here to say that my whole street is a mosque. Several times a day, small groups of Muslims -- mainly African street vendors who peddle carvings or fake Vuitton bags and Rolex watches on Canal Street -- pull out prayers mats, often just rolls of cardboard they store in the nooks and crannies of the buildings around, take their shoes off in all weather, wash their feet with water from bottles, kneel towards the east and pray, 14 blocks from Ground Zero, on ground they've spontaneously "hallowed." And the only thing one can say, in the words of my late Holocaust-refugee Polish-Jewish mother, is "Only in America."

Or at least, only in New York, where these outdoors rituals take place on the street surrounded by crowds of Chinese vendors, NYPD cops, business men, rich men's children and their nannies, and busloads of women tourists from the American South who have come to buy those fake Vuitton bags from those vendors (nice Christian ladies who have no problem breaking New York City's tax laws by buying fake label merchandise). Every day I pass these men praying across the narrow street from my front door and on corners throughout Lower Manhattan. It is an example of the religious freedom and tolerance that has made this country a beacon of freedom around the world.

And so the notion of keeping a mosque from the Ground Zero area is absurd: the streets all around it are already provisional mosques, because these men need to pray somewhere. Out of necessity they put the most private religious worship into the most public and the most humble of spaces. Along with the many who perished on September 11, they too bring to mind President Abraham Lincoln's words in the Gettysburg Address that "in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract." Ground can be hallowed many different ways. This is one that I witness every day.

Politicians like President Obama should be wrapping themselves in the American Flag, waving the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights and hollering about Freedom of Religion, the Mayflower, the Founding Fathers, Ellis Island, the Land of the Free, at the top of their lungs, throwing every righteous trope in the rhetorical book of the myth of America at those who would destroy "the better angels of our nature," not getting all wimpy and conciliatory in the face of people who pander hatred and bigotry and who are cynically manipulating the strong emotions of some Ground Zero Families and using the "hallowed ground" of Lower Manhattan as this week's battering ram against America's true greatness. Read more!

Are we having fun yet? Comments on "The Anti-Social Network"

Anonymous commenter "K":

Nancy,
Posting anything political on FB is not going to win many friends. Political nonsense is divisive and if there were consensus, then we probably would be living in a dictatorship, something I'm sort of opposed to, and offended by, being an American. When someone posts a benign comment, it's best to take it that way versus turning someone's commentary into a hate-fest. I neither hate Muslims nor any religion, regardless of whether I call myself a Christian. It seems that for all the painstaking defense of other religions, Liberals have taken to criticizing Christians at every turn as fanatical. Actually, I don't care because it's kind of amusing, to be quite honest. But to some, who aren't able to see the hypocrisy, it is offensive. And yet, no one seems to care. When I complained about an exhibit at a local gallery which displayed Christ with someone urinating on him, I was told that free expression is "artistic". And though you might be one of those who believe that as well, it's actually quite sickening and would not be tolerated if it were anyone else's religious symbol. So, I'm glad that there are people like you who are out there defending other religions, but actually, this country was built on the foundation of Christianity and so be it. For those that want to join other religions or no religion, there are ways to do that and still respect the majority who are Christian.

There is nothing inherently wrong in being a Christian. Fanatics are present in every religion (and political party)and so is hypocrisy. Enjoying political commentary whether it be Glenn Beck or Jon Stewart does not inherently make you a "hater" or "fanatic" or "anti-social". You cannot defend someone's rights only when it is convenient to your belief system. Everyone has the right to believe what they wish.

As for my suggestion which you found "physically sickening", it really was a benign comment. Being a horse lover, it might be hard for you to pass a slaughter house for horses everyday or a battered Women's shelter next to a prison. These might be emotional issues for you. Other people too, have valid emotions that should be respected. At what point do we decide whose emotions are to be respected? I vote for those who are citizens of our country.

I have found, that Liberal ideology is really a lack of the human experience. Gun control for instance, might make sense when you listen to the Liberal dogma, but when you are being held at gunpoint by a stranger, you might wish you had a gun. To suggest though, that your opinion on any matter is the correct one, is one of egocentricity. An opinion is based on whatever nonsense you listen to as well, whether it's Michael Moore or any network news that presents illegals as "victims". Regardless of whether people want to flee their country, there are legal processes and it would be illegal in any country to sneak in and collect benefits, not just ours. Having an opinion that all illegals should come in freely might be interesting fodder for discussion but regardless it is against the present law, despite the current president.But that's a whole other discussion.

August 18, 2010 1:36 PM

My response:

To my anonymous friend K,

I strongly recommend you start your own blog.

Comparing law-abiding Muslim worshippers to sex offenders still makes me physically ill. These people have NOT committed any crime, and wish only to exercise their right to freedom of religion, in a mosque that was there before 9/11 even occurred. THAT--freedom of Religion--is what America was founded on--not Christianity. We got sick of being pushed around by the Church of England and therefore founded our own country (on Native American lands) to do so. So we had to kill a few Indians--it was worth it. They were Luddites, really.

Finally, this political discourse is as much nonsense as a debate over the constitution. I will continue to work to destroy appalling stereotypes of Arabs and Muslims as long as I live, just as I do for gays (oh no, more sex offenders!) and other groups maligned due to lack of education in this country. I'm not doing it to win or keep friends. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do, and I'll do it alone if it comes to that. That does not bother me in the least.

August 18, 2010 7:37 PM

Muslims do not equal sex offenders. Just wanted to repeat that, make sure we're clear on that one. Thanks. Read more!

For Christ's Sake

This impromptu Art Theory class has taken on a life of its own. While Mr Mellender is trying to be helpful, I am starting to imagine what my college lectures would have been like had artists such as Hieronymous Bosch or Salvador Dali been available for questions from the audience.


Now this is what I call art. Jim and Steve somehow googled the concept of preaching at major sporting events and found a blog written by a woman in Redondo Beach. She writes of a "John 3:16 Guy" who appears at sporting events around the country. This photo is of their street preacher in Redondo Beach. At least he has flair!

Paul also mentioned a girl in a swing. As my pop culture memory is much greater (quantitatively, not qualitatively) than my theology or mythology memory, all I have in mind now is the 1955 flick The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing. [Yes, Joan Collins was an actress before Dallas, though her quality of acting has not seemed to change much.] Nevertheless, I am almost certain this is not where Paul was headed with this.

End of post.

I just wanted to see how many people would not be able to resist hitting "Read more!" even after I told them we were done. Class over. Time for recess. Read more!

All eyes on John

I don't know what the rest of you have been doing this week, but some of us have been doing our homework. Well, four of us, anyway. Mother Mary (my mother Mary, not The Mother Mary, for those easily confused) looked up verse John 3:14, which states "14 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up." Cousin Dené also had the verse close at hand, as did my pal Kurt, who was quick to point out that "The reference to John 3:14 [is something] you see at every football and basketball game." And just when I thought sports couldn't get any more convoluted.

It was Dené who offered up a tentative theory. She certainly nailed one point when she suggested that Paul may have been thinking about sin. (Aren't we all? But I digress...) Paul has indeed been thinking about it--maybe a little too much--but you can read for yourself and decide.
[Okay, this time there is more. Keep reading or remain in the dark, where you may or may not be more comfortable.]

Dené's theory is as follows: "It looks like the vase is an illustration of the story found in Numbers 21:4-8."

[For those of you who must have everything spelled out for them: Numbers 21:4-8 "The Bronze Snake"
4 They traveled from Mount Hor along the route to the Red Sea, to go around Edom. But the people grew impatient on the way;
5 they spoke against God and against Moses, and said, "Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!"
6 Then the LORD sent venomous snakes among them; they bit the people and many Israelites died.
7 The people came to Moses and said, "We sinned when we spoke against the LORD and against you. Pray that the LORD will take the snakes away from us." So Moses prayed for the people.
8 The LORD said to Moses, "Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live."
9 So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, he lived.]

Sorry, Dené. Please continue. "The snake on the pole was lifted up to God in order that people who sinned against God might be forgiven and receive life. The painting shows a large eye (probably God's eye) behind the very attractive gentleman (who I believe may be an idealized version of Jesus Christ). He is being lifted up to God (just as the snake on the pole was lifted up thousands of years ago) so that sinners might receive forgiveness and life from God. The Bible says sin brings death and forgiveness brings new life."

Sounds good to me, but we still have one horn of contention. Not one to be easily fazed, Dené suggests that "there is a Biblical reference to 'the horn of salvation' so it might fit the theme of redemption for sin and the salvation of mankind."

Well, just when I thought we had a handle on John, Paul has to butt in with his own "theory." Who does this guy think he is, anyway? For the sake of humoring a more-than-likely temperamental artiste, Paul wrote me today with the following information:

"The scene on the vase is based on a real vase painting depicting a rite during the Athenian Anthesteria festival. It was part of the Chytroi. A girl was made to swing on an unusual swing strung between two unconnected posts."

Mm-hmm. I don't know if this takes us back to square one, or there was ever a square to begin with (though I'm sure there's a reference to one in there somewhere) but let me assure everyone that I will study this portrait as long as necessary to see what's behind it.

[Many thanks to Mary, Kurt and Dené for their contributions to this very worthy cause. And a most gracious thank you to Paul Mellender for both creating this piece and suffering through our painful analysis thereof.]

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