If only...

Jockey Calvin Borel atop Mine That Bird crosses the finish line to win the 135th running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Kentucky. (AFP/Getty Images/Jamie Squire)

Something tells me that our man Calvin won't have any shortage of ride requests in the near future.

And if anyone was wondering how much you might have made had you succcessfully picked the Trifecta, chew on this. A friend of my brother-in-law bet $24 on the right trio, and took home a measly $50,000.

And what did YOU do this weekend?


And General Quarters? A respectable(?) tenth place.

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Derby Fever

Julie Sheets exercising General Quarters, currently at 20-1 odds for the Derby tomorrow.

Every year I resist, and every year I fail. I don't believe in racing two and three year-old horses, and I see one training picture and fall head over heels for their endless beauty. I go from PETA freak to "Just let them get through safely" in the blink of one big brown equine eye.

This year my favorite is predictable--the one whose story requires the most Kleenex: General Quarters. You can read more about him here.

General Quarters with exercise rider Julie Sheets.

My girlfriends Trish and Cecilia are on their way to the Louisville now, and I've already entrusted my bet with them. None of this $2 shit, either--I'm going all the way with $25! Since greys virtually never win, I did go the safe route and bet win-place-show, but hey, it's still a big bet for a full field of 20. General Quarters is 12th off the rail.

So 5 p.m. EST Saturday, May 2. Get your mint juleps ready!

Regal Ransom

For more pics of funny faces behind the scenes

DunKirk

Atomic Rain

Nowhere To Hide

Mr. Hot Stuff

Nothing funny about this beautiful face on West Side Bernie

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