Tuesday, January 11, 2011

In Memory of Erin Freriks, 1/22/1980-1/10/2011


Mark Tremonti (AB guitarist), Erin Freriks, and Myles Kennedy (AB vocalist)

[I am sorry, Erin, that you have to be my first obituary. I'd probably be asking you how to write it.--Nancy]

I knew Erin as most people did--through her intense love of music. She and I are both from Madison, so we ran into each other at numerous Alter Bridge shows in the Midwest. I soon learned it was she who started the first website for Alter Bridge, and was instrumental in jump-starting their fan base. Pretty damn impressive for a woman who was just 24 at the time.

Though I knew her casually for many years, only recently did we start talking on Twitter and via text. I am a hard-core follower of my musicians, and also a woman of strong opinions, and we found we had both those things in common. I admired her conviction and ability to preservere when things got tough for her--her strength is very much worth admiring.

Most recently, we talked a lot about Alter Bridge's last show (of this tour leg) in Houston. I had a rare opportunity to attend, and she was having a very hard time making it work. She ended up staying home, but encouraged me all day Saturday as I struggled to find and make flights to get there in time. She "followed" me in as I took my position on the rail, and even scolded me for twittering during one of the opening bands. "Don't waste your battery! Wait for AB!" I laughed out loud because it was so Erin.

I watched her posts with concern as she grew ill on Sunday. It seemed like a bad flu bug, but kept getting worse. Her last post Monday indicated that the "shooting, stabbing stomach pains" had stopped, and left her with only a dull ache. I am not, by nature, an optimist, and was very concerned about how much this sounded like a ruptured appendix. It was with extreme shock and horror that I read of her passing the next morning. I do not know what caused her death, but it grieves me that she was in so much pain this weekend. I know she has battled other illnesses in the past, and I think she is just so damn stoic that she figured it was just another obstacle to ride out. I am truly in shock that whatever it was took her from us.

UPDATE: Cause of death was a pulmonary embolism. By the time symptoms became apparent it was too late.

Her death sent the very tight-knit Alter Bridge community into a tailspin today. I had to stop working so I could be "with" her friends from around the world--both those who had met her and those who knew of her. I live and work alone at home and those friends helped me make it through the day. The support from and for the whole community was extremely strong, particularly the website/forum The Alter Bridge Nation.

I am sure I am not the only one, but I contacted the band as soon as I saw her brother's post this morning to let them know. Within a few hours, they posted their deep regrets both as a band, and individually. That is the kind of men they are, and why she was so dedicated to them. They really underlined how we all felt when they said, "Our shows won't be the same without you."

Erin lived a short life but touched many people and made a very large impact for one person. I honor her strength, determination, devotion, and mostly, her undying love for her favorite music and musicians.

Though I have not been able to listen to Alter Bridge since I heard the news, it is only fitting to post the one song that comes to mind with this tragic loss. It is "Blackbird," recorded live in Amsterdam in 2009. I have posted the lyrics after the jump.

Rest in peace, Erin. You will be sorely missed.



"Blackbird"

The willow it weeps today
A breeze from the distance is calling your name
Unfurl your black wings and wait
Across the horizon it's coming to sweep you away
It's coming to sweep you away

[Chorus:]
Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

The fragile cannot endure
The wrecked and the jaded a place so impure
The static of this cruel world
Cause some birds to fly long before they've seen their day
Long before they've seen their day

[Chorus:]
Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again

Ascend may you find no resistance
Know that you made such a difference
All you leave behind will live to the end
The cycle of suffering goes on
But memories of you stay strong
Someday I too will fly and find you again

[Chorus:]
Let the wind carry you home
Blackbird fly away
May you never be broken again

Beyond the suffering you've known
I hope you find your way
May you never be broken again
May you never be broken again

10 comments:

Stacy said...

So saddened.. thank you for taking the time to write that up. It's going to be a very long time until I'm going to be able to listen to Blackbird in public, I think.

:(
Stace

Unknown said...

Sorry to hear about her death. One of of my new favorites is "Wonderful Life" on AB III. They did not play it in Houston (which was a great show), but the lyrics are also fitting for the loss of someone close.

Ian B G Mills said...

I am still deep in shock about this never has the line "I can't believe you're gone" been more relavent. I never had the pleasure of meeting her but know what she did to help bring AB into the public domain for which I will be eternally thankfull for.

R.I.P Erin
Ian
"Wolfie1984"

Shelly Jeffers said...

Thank you, Nancy. I've known Erin for 11 years...we hit it off immediately as soon as we started talking on Creednet in '99. We've been there together through thick and thin...concerts, vacations, other deaths, health issues, family issues...and every night when I got online, I just KNEW that I had a friend around to talk to. I already feel the emptiness and I miss my bff. :*( Thank you for such a beautiful obit, Nancy.

Michael said...

To be honest I didn't know Erin until I heard about her passing from a friend's tweet who was also a friend of hers.I've lost friends who have passed away much sooner then they should have and so I knew how painful and sad it is when something like this happens.So I decided to to look at her Twitter & her Facebook.And I could tell that by all the comments that wereon her Facebook profile & on the ALter Bridge website that she meant so much to so many people that I felt that I wanted to say my respects. From what I saw Erin was very passionate about music,her photography,her animals,etc And it makes me sad that even though I didn't know her that a woman so full of life isn't here anymore.From what I've seen Erin seems like the type of person I could have been friends with had I ever known her. I don't know much about Heaven & things like that but I like to think that the good ones get to go someplace nice when they pass away and from everything I've seen & read Erin was definitely one of the good ones.It's funny how some of the ones who leave us so early are some of the best ones. Now Erin can attend any concert she wants without having to worry about getting a good seat. :)

Michael said...

To be honest I didn't know Erin until I heard about her passing from a friend's tweet who was also a friend of hers.I've lost friends who have passed away much sooner then they should have and so I knew how painful and sad it is when something like this happens.So I decided to look at her Twitter & her Facebook.And I could tell that by all the comments that were on her Facebook profile & on the Alter Bridge website that she meant so much to so many people that I felt that I wanted to say my respects. From what I saw Erin was very passionate about music,her photography,her animals,etc And it makes me sad that even though I didn't know her that a woman so full of life isn't here anymore.From what I've seen Erin seems like the type of person I could have been friends with had I ever known her. I don't know much about Heaven & things like that but I like to think that the good ones get to go someplace nice when they pass away and from everything I've seen & read Erin was definitely one of the good ones.It's funny how some of the ones who leave us so early are some of the best ones. Now Erin can attend any concert she wants without having to worry about getting a good seat. :)

Kim Bates said...

What a great tribute to your friend! That song is perfect-very touching. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Morene said...

Anyone who passes away from us is the saddest thing that ever happens. Gladfully she was abled to enjoy the beautiful things in life like music. I wish all the people that were next to her all the strenght with this great loss.

I deeply respect you guys for putting Blackbird with this message, it will be one of the songs I've requested to be played on my own funeral.

Anonymous said...

Erin had made so many friends, touched so many lives in her travels and in her passion for music. She will be missed, but remembered for as long as we are here...Peyton

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful tribute to your friend. I saw E-Rocks FB post and was truly impressed that he and the guys from AB recognized Erin as their #1 fan. May her family and friends be blessed with peace on their journey of mourning a tragic loss.

Jane/Indy