IRS Aims for Revenge Against Texans

In a highly unusual move, the IRS has stated it is so upset about the recent attack on its offices in Austin, Texas that it will be raising income tax rates for ALL Texans starting with the upcoming tax year.

An IRS representative who wished to remain anonymous stated, "We would love to start this immediately but we have a lot of our own red tape to cut through to make this happen. But rest assured, it WILL happen!"

There are also widely circulating rumors that extra taxes may be levied on bands that play exclusively country music. The same rep tried to correct this by saying that the IRS has long wished to tax country stars higher than those that play "normal" music--the so-called "Twang-Tax"--but that that, too was caught up in red tape.

[Ed. note: I've been telling people for years it's time to start profiling Texans as potential terrorists, but no one would listen. Maybe now, they will.]