Reconciliation

Chris Cornell on the cover of Louder Than Love

Every year gives us new challenges. Some we bring on ourselves as New Year's resolutions, while others jump out of nowhere. Sometimes it is a combination of both.

I did not formally write down any resolutions (easier to "bend" them that way) but I did make some. Weight and health are up there, of course, but I feel I have a jump on both of those going vegetarian (and cutting back on dairy) as well as a fair amount of weight lost due to the stresses of November and December. I'd just like to keep those both rolling. Writing is also way up there, but that is as daunting as ever.

I noticed several friends on Facebook have decided to cut back on swearing. That made the devil in me laugh, as it never even crossed my mind how I still swear like a drunken welder. So fuck that one. I think the hope of my ever turning into something "ladylike" is quite extinguished, so let's not waste any effort there. As Bette Midler would say, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." Or a little profanity.

As for the angel in me (there actually is a small one) I am still determined to find a way to keep helping The Brooke as well as raising awareness (my own, if nothing else) on many other issues, among them women's rights in SO many areas of the world as listed with no blinders in the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. On the American front I have renewed my pledge to help eliminate CAFOs (confined animal factory operations)--or at least convince one or two people that they actually do exist. I am signing on with the Humane Society to help them with that, as they are doing good work in that area.

So what obstacles to charity could there possibly be? Well, money is a big one. Still waiting for B of A's verdict on my mortgage adjustment, and from what I have read EVERYwhere, they let people have the three month reduction then pull the carpet out from under you, cancel the deal, and demand the difference for the three months back immediately. I am bracing for that, and will deal with it when it happens. So there may be a drafty 90 year-old Colonial on the market this spring. I sincerely hope not, since I haven't seen a house sell in Columbus in my neighborhood in two years. If I actually thought it would sell, I would be that bothered about it.

A less typical obstacle came in the form of what a rock music lover would herald as absolutely and unequivacally fantastic news as 2010 arrived: Soundgarden has reunited after 12 years of being apart. (Insert multiple OMG!!!s here.) I last saw them 14 years ago on their last Lollapalooza tour. The show was at the Gorge at George outside of Seattle. Cornell's voice was shot, the set was barely an hour, and my companion and I were about a mile from the stage--but it was Soundgarden.

Since I can never just enjoy good news for what it is, I immediately had three major misgivings upon hearing this joyous news. Misgiving #1--I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed the small, personal venues that Chris Cornell has been playing as a solo artist for the last decade. There is no thrill like resting your elbows on the stage as Chris bends down to serenade you. None. Not even meeting him afterwards, where he and the band go through the motions of yet another boring (for them) Meet & Greet can match the adrenaline rush of connecting with him during a performance.

Now that he and the boys are together again, there is very little likelihood of resting my elbows (comfortably, anyway) on the stage. No, we're going to go back to guard rails 6 feet or more from Cornell's boots, body guards everywhere, and backstage passes are going to be at a fucking premium. So I will treasure my memories of basking in Cornell's spittle and wait until the boys get tired of each other again.

Then there is Misgiving #2. Ticket prices. Not that Cornell was cheap, but again, you got a whole lotta bang for your buck. Now picture minimum $100/day tickets for Coachella (where water is at least $4/bottle), not to mention airline tix to LA if you happen to live in the Midwest. I can't justify it, no matter how I look at it. Even following Foo Fighters to three states in 2008 I was able to do by car and with work-related gift certificates for hotels. So I will have to grit my teeth to nubbins as I watch my SG cohorts follow the boys wherever they go--short of overseas (even they have their limits ;o). Envy will drip from me like sweat at Coachella.

Misgiving #3 is that I can't reconcile spending any penny I raise to see SG when that money--if indeed it could be raised--should go to the charities I say I am so loyal to. How many concerts do Congolese refugees enjoy every year? Let's make it less drastic--how many concerts does the average Egyptian get to each year? OK--still too stiff a comparison. How many movies does the average Egyptian woman go to each year? Not the Westernized woman with money and status--the rural woman who spends all day taking care of children, livestock and crops. You get the point.

So, still being your average self-centered, privileged American, my idea is a band aid for the conscience: Whatever I spend on a musical outing, I must spend an equal amount on one of my charities. If I can't raise enough to cover both--I don't go.

And right out of the gate Rickie Lee Jones decides to stop by our intimate Barrymore Theatre on February 23. $35 (plus fees) for my soft-hearted icon, and $35 (plus fees) to The Brooke. No market for selling guinea pigs anymore, so I'll have to come up with something else. At least I didn't have to START with facing a Soundgarden arena show. I'm going to need a little time to work up to that.

And we'll just see how it goes from there.