(Red)uplication

[If you are easily offended, Republican, or both, consider yourself forewarned.]

I'm not sure who started this whole Inspi(red) campaign, but I like to blame Bono from U2. Don't get me wrong--I'm all for ending the AIDS epidemic by buying iPods and sexy (red) T's--I just think it may have gotten a little out of hand. Or maybe I'm just getting Ti(red) of seeing those damn shirts everywhere.

Anyway, I got so hot and Bothe(red) thinking about it that I started jotting down a few new slogans they might want to use. They've already expanded things a bit by adding Admi(red), Ado(red), and Inc(red)ible (nice twist), but I think they could go further.

Here are some of my suggestions:

Reti(red): bumper sticker for old cars with new tires
Bugge(red): for the pissed-off British crowd
Expi(red): for the hipper deceased crowd
Beleague(red): our constitution of late
Surrende(red): a shirt to wear every April 15 as we file our taxes
Philande(red): the reason behind 75% of all divorces
Flatte(red): for women who have had breast-reduction surgery
Fea(red): what all chihuahuas deserve to wear
Tortu(red): for everyone the US supposedly does NOT torture
Plaste(red): for your average college student on any given night
Wi(red): for your average college student the morning of an exam
Bewilde(red): something for George W. to wear during press conferences and other public appearances

Suffe(red): for anyone who has ever experienced a Wisconsin winter
Trigge(red): for the Lone Ranger
Sh(red)ded: what you should wear as you ride this

Abhor(red): a shirt I'd like to give Ann Coulter.
Igno(red): for how most of us feel most of the time
Bliste(red): for those who have been in the sun too long
Blogge(red): okay, I made that up
Remembe(red): for all those who died on 9/11, and all those innocent souls on all sides who have died in our misguided attempts to seek vengeance afterwards
Fluste(red): a shirt I should have been wearing when I met my rock star
Dismembe(red): for anyone kicked out of a club they once joined
Inter(red): new graveyard dress code
(Red) Sea: would be great for tourism in the area, eh?





And why don't we throw in a little wildlife marketing, while we're at it? We could make shirts supporting (Red)-Winged Blackbirds,

(Red)-Tailed Hawks,


and Rhode Island (Red)s...

Fi(red) : the shirt I'll be wearing if I don't get back to work