Heads or Tails?

Who do I have to talk to to get the road from Madison to Columbus designated as a wildlife crossing? Driving up last weekend my windshield was nearly taken out by an enormous male turkey who took flight (poorly and slowly, I might add) right in front of me. I must pass a dozen raccoon carcasses each time I make the trip--though thankfully I've sent none to their calling on my own. Tonight I passed three oblivious woodchucks munching away happily just inches from the roadway (and goodness knows those oblivious woodchucks are so much more bothersome than the focused and attentive ones).

The dogs and I went up to Columbus tonight to check on the progress of the new roof being installed on my new/old house. They are doing a great job so far. Unfortunately, they must be doing it on someone else's house, because mine looks the same way it did last week. Still, Ginger had many, many Columbia county squirrels to chase tonight--my favorite pastime of hers, as I am firmly affixed to the other end of her leash. Driving home I pondered whether the bank would still be willing to close if they don't complete the OMIGOD THAT BUCK IS GOING TO LAND RIGHT ON MY HOOD AND I SHOULD REALLY CHECK MY REAR-VIEW MIRROR BEFORE SLAMMING ON THE BRAKES LIKE THAT roof on time, as they had originally promised.

Nothing like an indecisive white-tailed deer to remind you of your mortality. I was certain we'd hit it: I just didn't know for sure if we'd hit the head or the tail. No one was close enough behind me to rear end me, nor did either of my dogs go through the windshield as I braked. And as the deer and I made eye contact--for what I figured was the first and last time--we each made a decision to swerve. And we both swerved to our respective right. That is why I am writing this to you from my desk at home and not in traction from a hospital bed.

Damn it, I need some ice cream.